Big Island Bourguignon
It was him, an especially handsome soul who held me when the sea began to drain, to whom I first admitted, “My inner child has been missing for a very long time.”
He replied, “I know this about you.”
More than a year later I’m still struggling to recover a playful, silly side of me. Still looking for the kid within.
To be fair to myself, which is another thing I’m working on, I’ve certainly lightened up. Surprises and setbacks rattle me less. Hell, they reinforce all the other stuff I’m learning i.e. no one really owns anything, STFU and be still for one moment, everyone is an ass hole and that’s OK.
Also: avoid getting too mad too often.
Sure, I get ticked off. Disappointment happens. I become angry.
But anger can be a powerful tool. As is often the case, anger can tip your canoe. But when harnessed, anger can be the catalyst for seeking a better future.
Pele’s rage can be furious. Her temper is short. She wails with breath of fire and brimstone.
I’ve been shedding possessions and allowing for clarity of mind. I’ve been standing still, allowing the wind to sweep over me, through me. Inviting it to hum in my ears the hollow song of nothingness. No buzzing insects or croaking toads or streaming brooks. No babies laughing or babies crying. No adverts or gavels. No reverends or pundits.
Anyway, I think about that aforementioned young man often. I think about his insightful words, his happenings on the mainland, and his trajectory in life. Cunning and collected. An evil wit with a bleeding heart. What a gift he is.
I wish he’d visit me, but it’s OK if that never happens.
This is another lesson I’m learning: to let go.
Because zoos shatter my soul. And what are our deepest emotions and favorite memories if not roaring beasts and wild ponies? They are better off free to roam. To proliferate and evolve into legend, memoir, bedrock for better-informed (yet still wonderfully stupid) life choices. And they deserve to die a happy, dignified death far-removed from the shackles of man.
Anyway, I do still hope that he visits. I hope the same of you, too.
BIG ISLAND BOURGUIGNON
I initially sat down to write about stew. To shape a new recipe considerate of a life being lived in the tropics rather than the Alps. To move from a thick, roux-thickened gravy to a flavorful jus, brightened just enough and snappy just enough. A recipe that could let some rules go and allow for some fire.
I tried it and I won. Let us build on that success.
Note: I cook for 100+ people at a time. Use math to convert the following for smaller yields.
Ingredients
20 lbs of Big Island-raised, grass-fed, boneless beef chuck cut into 1 ½” cubes
rub liberally with alaea salt and freshly cracked black pepper, let sit
someday, the sooner the better, you can use beef that doesn't tax our planet so badly
15 lbs onions, red and white, big pieces
Lots, tons of garlic cloves, whole
10 lbs carrots, big pieces
7 ½ lbs ulu, under-ripe and steamed for 1 hour, cooled
bite size pieces no larger than the carrots, skin intact
7 ½ lbs Kamuela tomatoes (a variety of beefsteak), firm and brilliant, wedges
7 ½ qts broth of choice
10 lbs ali’i mushrooms, cut into pieces roughly the same size as the carrots and ulu
1 ¼ cup thyme, dried
4 Tbl red chili pepper flakes or Hawaiian chili peppers or Habanero or surprise me
2 handfuls bay leaf, dried
I used roughly four bottles of red table wine. Next time we’ll do it with Hilo coffee, just to see what happens. Because we’re relearning how to play.
Method
Sautée the following items in a wok over super high heat, using safflower or grapeseed oil, or whatever you have on hand with a high smoking point.
Proceed in this order:
Beef
Onions
Garlic
Carrots
Tomatoes
Work each item separately and move to a large pot *or* two 6” deep hotel pans. Try not to crowd; execute in batches if necessary. You’re looking to achieve a beautiful char as quickly as possible. If that char doesn’t happen then either your wok/apparatus isn’t hot enough or you’re stirring too often, or both.
Deglaze with any liquid besides water and pour it into your pot or hotel pans or whatever you’re using.
In your pot/pans/whatever add your wine (or coffee) and broth, ali’i mushrooms, thyme, red chili pepper flakes (or other heat), and bay leaves. Bring to a gentle boil. Cover and braise slowly at 350°F or less for two hours or longer.
The stew is ready when the cubes of beef open easily with a fork. Don’t stir it, ever. Be still. Degrease only if necessary, be gentle.
For the love of Lono, don’t add thickener. Keep it clear. Still and clear.
Garnish with parsley or chives or cilantro or whatever. Offer lemon wedges.
You can do this vegan, too. Sub the beef with tempeh. This method was the first time I ever made a tempeh dish that I liked. Be sure to get that char on it!
Of course, everything in this can be sourced locally wherever you live. Make adjustments as desired to achieve a truly local dish.
And if you fuck up, who cares. Reflect, amend your approach, try it again.
If and when Captain Cutie, with his astute observations and perky buns, ever does elect to visit me, I’m going to make a giant batch of this for him.
When it cools, I may or may not instigate a food fight for the sake of "play" and personal transformation.
And if he lets me, if he isn't horrified by the monster he unwittingly wished for, I’m going to kiss his face off.